Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone ♥

Yours Truly

Cheng Yunyuan, Bernadette;
01101991;
till death do us part.

Spit or Lick

Paperbags and plastic hearts ♥

Saturday, October 13, 2007

yay!
something just made my day(:
haven't been feeling well though.
well, thats very much due to studies, ain't it?
haha.
anyway,
i was sooo unhappy that mrs feck ng gave me darn low for my prelim's compo.
then i showed vick.
andd he said it wasn't that bad andd it was obvious that she was picking on me.
sooo, he said i should type it out in my computer and send it to him.
he'll send it to this cambridge marker.
he met him in finland when he was on a attachment there.
cool.
yupp andd so i did!
andd this was what made my day(:
he marked my composition.
andd it really wasn't that bad!(((:
yay-ness!

Question: In what ways have the common use of mobile phones, electronic mail and text-messaging affected human communication today?

Human communication these days are rather difficult. (You have got to explain this statement). The common use of mobile phones, electronic mail and text-messaging plays an important role in modern communication of today. Today, the(to delete) human communication has been affected by the above mentioned factors.

In the 20th century and earlier, people seen with mobile phones, are(were) considered wealthy. But Today, in the 21st century, (people not seen with mobile phones are considered as those of low status in the society.) In fact, those that own two or more mobile phones is nothing surprising nor different in any way.(Surprisingly, for those who own more than one communication device, it is nothing to be startled about in any way.) The main communicating system between humans, so much so that we take each other for granted. With mobile phones, all we have to do is dial a number and ring up the person to tell he/she(Them) how much you miss them. How convincing can that be? Also(In addition), if a quarrel breaks out, all you have to do is call the person and apologise. Is that sincere enough?// shld be broken to next paragraph

Mobile phones have been a great effect on human and affected world communication at large. Due to this people of the world today rely and depends on communication technology too much. lives greatly affected human communication today as each and everyone of us rely on it too much. Because we have communications like these, people tend to meet up less often as they think its(it would) enough. But, what many don’t realize(the important factor of quality time) is the quantity time spent together, be it family or friends. Through mobile phones, you would not or rather, cannot tell if one is truly happy, sad, depressed, or stress. The voice through the phone could be a façade of an expression that the other party cannot tell (visualize) . And since people of today rely on mobile phones too much, their skills of communication with the others during a face to face would not be easy for them.

In addition, text-messaging also plays an important role in affecting human communication today. On occasions like Christmas or birthdays, all one has to do id(s) to move one’s(ones’) little fingers a little more and send your greetings to as many people as you wish simultaneously. How much can one express their gratitude in a texted message like this. People of the past send new year cards, birthday cards through mailing. Of course, it is not any printed cards from the computer, but handmade cards. These cards speak a thousand words of gratitude and sincerity. Time and effort is put in, making the card. Thus, obviously, it would mean much more than forwarding text-messages that has already been circulated around. Just a simple “I miss you” message would mean more than meeting a person, telling him/her how much you miss them?

Last but not least, let us discuss about electronic mail. It is one of the “ deadliest” kind of communication. There is so much more in it. Spam mails, chain letters, spreading of viruses. But most of all, mails from friends and family. A family can have up to three computers in just one household. There are siblings that do not talk to each other, but their only way of communication is through electronic mail.(You do communicate to your family in such a manner to?) Ironically, both siblings can be less than five feet away from each other, but still, communicate through these(such) electronic system. These would definitely decrease the relationship with your family members, thus much less each day. It is an unhealthy way of communicating and knowing your siblings better. (This is a common problem anywhere around the world due to the advancement of technology day by day)

Many of us are guilty of using one or more of these ways to communicate with each other. This has definitely greatly affected our communication with each other in one way or other. Logically speaking, it is difficult at times to meet up even for a cup of coffee due to each individual schedules. However, we shouldn’t let all these advance technology take over our lives and more importantly, our skills of communication and relationship with the people around us. Modern technology is beginning to control our lives faster than you can say technology.

Done by: Bernie(:

Dear Bernie,

Pointers to be noted:
1. Never start sentences with connector words ( Eg. Because, But, Also, And)
2. Never state ambiguous words (Eg. he/she)
3. Please do take note of when to use sentence or word separators.
4. “—“ double quotes are used when you are quoting a phrase or sentence from a source. To emphasize a single word, please use single quotes. That is ‘—‘
5. Please do look into your sentence structures. You would need to connect 2 sentences with a common flow.
6. You have very good and interesting point to advance your statements.
7. You could have included points on how such communication would affect modern life today. (Eg. words used in daily life being affected by text messaging and e-mails. Short forms like ‘U’, ‘R’, ‘tml’, ‘I C’. Such words become too common that it is being influenced and used in daily English writing!)

General
1. You have supporting pointers
2. Interesting focus
3. Sentence structure can be improved
4. Vocabulary can be wider
5. This is a more factual end composition and your personal thoughts gave a different outlook on how the reader feels

Calculations
Format 7/10
Points 7/10
English 6.5/10
Flow 2.5/5
Structure 2.5/5
Focus 3/5
General 3/5

TOTAL 31.5/50

There is lots of room for improvement. You may have rushed through it and thus did not have sufficient time to check through your composition. You would have scored higher with improvement on areas such as flow and sentence structure.

A GOOD EFFORT.
All the Best for your GCE ‘O’ Levels.

Prof McMalam Bon Junalavai
Faculty of Medicine and BioSecience
Department of English Studies
University of HelsinkiFinland

yay!
thank you, you(:
well, at least i'll feel better now(:
weeeeeeeee(:

now its back to mugging, AGAIN.
at least my self-esteem is back again(:
weeeeeeeee(:

*DAMN MRS FECK NG TO HELL

8:13 PM